Verse 1
Hector woke up at 3am to find his wallet gone
Couldn't find a phone so he drove his ass to VONS
He cancelled all his credit cards from Citibank to Montgomery Wards'
But the next day he realized that they were in his bag the whole fuckin' time
Chorus
Oh the stupid things we do without thinking through
There's something to be said about using your head
Oh the stupid things we do
Verse 2
Oh Todd, mighty Todd; was the prince kissed by the frog
He went to Ozy's Fest, heard one song then he missed the rest
And I can still smell the puke from when he played with the flu
But he never quit like Jordan scored 40 points that night
Bridge
Roscoe, clowny - sends her to her knees
Black Chunks, tweener; the entertainment's here
Verse 3
I want chocolate cake; lots and lots of chocolate cake
cause if I'm blowin' chunks they're going out in style
And if the H.E.P. goes trowlin' around I.V.
Well then they can find an F.T.M. that they can call their own